I decided, I'm pursing two things. The first being "talent." More specifically, talent in some form of art. I love how art is something to be shared and expressed, I love how it is something that in its purest form is to be given to others to enjoy. In my opinion, it is a sign of a well developed society and secure individual. I am decent at many forms of art. I used to sketch, I play the guitar, I do graphic design from time to time, I sing, and I do photography. But it is also pretty obvious that I am not amazing at any of these in particular. I am not quite good enough to just join in with the guys during a jam session with my guitar. I'm definitely not good enough to sing in a contest, nor is my photography something that people would really say "wow" to. Talent, being one of those things that doesn't seek you in return, means that I'm stuck in just being persistent in my pursuit; or perhaps there is another way to approach it.

A good friend of mine is a very talented photographer. I'm proud of him, but also a little embarrassed. It was I who introduced him to the world of DSLR, back when I had just gotten mine. We went out to shoot a bit, and then he decided to foray into the world of photography too. The embarrassment lies in the fact that he is a superb photographer, and overtook me in the skill in breadth and depth soon after picking up a camera. Unlike myself, he practiced everyday, met the right people, inquired, and learned through experience. He had a better system. I was learning from books and literature, he just went out and did it all.

So lesson number one, and the first change I've been making to the way I seek talent. "Learn smart." Experience teaches well, and learning from the right people is immensely important. In hindsight, it seems obvious, but that's how hindsight always works I guess.

I've been learning a lot from him, and our little photo trips have been one of the few chances I've had to actually get out of the study room.

The next thing I am pursuing is "genuine relationships." This is something that hopefully works both ways. I assume others with the same wish are also looking around too. So the strategy here changes a bit. You can proactively go out to search for said relationships, or... set yourself up properly so that those relationships can come to you.

After years of unconsciously seeking these types of relationships, probably in the wrong way, I've been trying to switch the system around a bit. One way to generate relationships is by being super helpful and friendly. After all, if you can prove yourself useful somehow... it's easy for people to want to stick around. But this obviously had the tendency to attract people who would be around for the wrong reasons. So, flip things around a bit... and take away all the usefulness. Oh, still stay polite and friendly, but take away all the shine and just be normal. How well could that work?

I hated it when people judged me by the street I lived on, or how big my house is. I hated it when people introduced me as some really wealthy guy, just because my family lived on a street with lots of rich folks. It wasn't entirely their fault I guess. I spent a lot of money, and was always very generous. I'd go out of my way to help people and such. My advantages were very visible, because I was always ready to offer them to others too. But this is where the problem lay. People didn't like me for who I was, because they couldn't see past all the stuff that was in their way.

So I've taken all of those things away, or I've tried to. I refused the money that my parents would randomly offer me, I drive my family's 7 year old SUV (no longer really the case, but that's another story), I only spend money and time on the closest of friends, and I work part time jobs to earn the money that I would spend on others. I don't want people to judge me by what car I drive. I want people to know that when I do something special for them, it is because they're special to me. I don't want people to think I'm some spoiled guy. I want them to know that I work my two part time jobs precisely because I think it is pointless to buy someone (ie. a girl) a present with money that your parents gave you.

It just means so much more, when you know you had to work for it. That it wasn't free.

And hopefully this'll work. So far, so good. So lets keep hoping I'm onto a good system here. *crosses fingers*


What are your looking for?

People are astounding and amazing. Life is so uncertain and exciting. That's how it's been for me lately. Ever since the new year, I've been facing the world boldly. Somehow, the lemons that the world threw at me became gold. Somehow, my attempts to pursue my goals have exceeded my wildest imaginations. And some of the progress I've made in the last few weeks was simply offered to me. Such opportunities are rare, and I am very grateful to have had them.

I never noticed how significant a change has overcome me, and everyone around me lately. Everyone seems to have started 2010 off with a bang and a mad dash. Everyone, even the art students are studying hard at school. Companies have ramped up their offerings and lowered their prices to be more competitive. Our Co-op job posting levels appear to have risen dramatically, and there are many intriguing opportunities that I've begun to apply for.

And today... a friend posted a quote, that defined it all.


When things go very well for me, I can't help but think that something bad is bound to happen soon. I mean, how high and fast can you go before you hit something right? So since this week was more or less one thing after another, I was waiting... for myself to run into a wall and break all together. Perhaps it would happen during my presentation to the class that was worth 15% of my mark. Or perhaps during my driving examination for my full license. How about my part-time job interview? Or I'm probably going to do something stupid during the EpCon conference. Maybe while I'm working in the biology lab? If all else fails, I'm bound to mess up the phone interview for another part time job.

Balancing my academic tasks with my personal ones really drained me this week, but they also energized me somehow. It is a puzzling feeling, to be both tired and pumped at the same time. I struggled to finish our first assignment, staying in the computer lab until 2:00AM, expecting to be able to drop it off when I was complete; only to find that the TA had not labeled which drop box slot was for our class. I had to create a presentation, and I blazed through it in two and a half hours; finishing it right as I was to present. I overslept on the first day of the EpCon technology and entrepreneurship conference, awoke to a text message that asked me "where are you?", and only getting a response of: "oh shit. 10 mins." Followed by me throwing my camera gear into the car, while brushing my teeth, and trying to put on some clothes at the same time, before I hurtled down the streets of Waterloo to pick up the other executives who needed to be at the conference early to set up. Over the years I had picked up some bad driving habits, and so I wasn't so sure I would pass my final driving exam. I had interviews that were for industries that I have no experience in. My photography buddy and I are trying to start some freelance work. School projects are being delegated out...

It's been non-stop. Because I've realized that since I am so afraid that something is going to go wrong, the only way to minimize that from happening is to not feel so afraid. To believe, that I can boldly do anything I want. Because I can't stop. You can't hit a wall at 100km/hr and expect to survive. If you want to stop, then slow down first. But no, lets keep it here for now.

So perhaps boldness does have magic to it.

I got my full G license. I got offered the two jobs right in the interview. My presentation to the class blew everyone away, and the professor was impressed. My assignment was successfully dropped of in time. My buddy and I have some freelance work arranged already. And the Epcon conference blew everyone's mind.

I've met so many amazing people this weekend at EpCon. Most of these were people I have admired for a long time now. They are budding entrepreneurs, all Waterloo alumni. Speakers and sponsors came in from Facebook, Google, Apple, Microsoft, RIM, CGI, University of Toronto, Rogers Communications, and more. They inspired. They taught. They shared. And we all grew a little more. These are the people I want to surround myself with. The intelligent, the pretty looking, and the driven.

But yes, this is why I've been gone lately. I know I have been neglecting Xanga like crazy, but I'm trying really hard to establish myself a little better. I was going to join the Reserves, since I could see myself as a part of the Canadian Forces Disaster Assistance Response Team someday (They're over in Haiti now), but since I moved every four months, the units asked me to wait and apply when I settle down. I wanted some more avenues for generating revenue, so I was thinking of having 1 part time job, I got 3. I wasn't expecting EpCon to be spectacular, since only 3 months of planning was put into it... but somehow the team pulled it off with more than 20 sponsors and a sold out conference. So yes, this has been quite an experience lately.

Co-op applications have begun for the next term, and the job numbers are popping back up since it looks like the worst of the recession is over now. This year I've applied for a number of jobs that are far away. Including working with the Department of Defence in the Arctic, some consulting company in Bethesda MD (That's near... roadlesstaken right?), a company in New Zealand that my friend currently works at, and a strange looking job in France. I'm not even going to bother applying for Google this year. Plenty of other jobs to keep me happy.

So hopefully, in a few months I'll be writing blogs from some really cool place (or if I'm in the Arctic, I probably won't have internet).

Having said that, be bold with your life. This is really the only way to live life. It's amazing, and I kinda like you guys, so I want you all to be amazing too.


I'll get to catching up on reading/commenting everyone's entries soon. After I catch up with school work.

I spent the first day of the new year partially lying covered in snow, on the top of one of the many slopes on Blue Mountain, looking up at the sky as the snow gently fluttered down on me. I had just wiped out coming around a bend while attempting to carve on the board for the first time. I managed to do it slightly, leaning forwards and backwards, arms out to keep my balance, staying on the edges of the board. But then I realized that I was actually successful, got excited, and ended up losing the edge and flipping face first into the snow. After another tumble, I found myself on my back. And so here I was.

The air was brisk and cold. Somewhere down the slope was my cousin and her new boyfriend. I was asked to come because my aunt wanted me to keep an eye on them. But she really didn't need to worry, they were fine together. Not to mention, I had no intention of being a third wheel.

So it is 2010. To begin off, I'm really grateful for the past year. It's been interesting. The people I've met, the adventures I've had, and all the Xangans... Everything has contributed to fueling that fire inside of me to keep working and make the most of life. Looking forward, I see hard times... but what began as frustration over the holidays has turned into a sort of confident drive. Barriers are now challenges that I'm more than pumped to surpass.

So here we are today, slowly emerging out of a global recession. Here I am today, slowly getting ready to make a dash again. Fan the flame. Let's kick ass this year.